This Routine Is Hell - Howl (2013)

Fast and furious metallic hardcore from the Netherlands. For fans of Converge, All Pigs Must Die, A Thousand Words, Mediocracy and so forth. They're currently touring Europe, so go see them live. I have a lot of stuff to do for school. I wish I didn't. I will now go back to my cave.

http://bandcamp.thisroutineishell.com/releases

Tesseract - Altered State (2013)

I can’t keep track of every piece of music there is out there. Yes, this band has toured with Protest the Hero and yes, apparently they are quite known in the global prog scene, but that didn’t stop them from flying under my radar.

I found out about Tesseract sometime last week and decided to give this album a virtual spin mainly because of two reasons: one would be that the band's/album's name is a dead giveaway for a prog release and two, the fact that Tetrafusion (of which I spoke of last year) has a record that is unshamefully labeled, well, Altered State.

So, to recap:

- Tetrafusion - Altered State (2010) and Tesseract - Altered State (2013)

- Both are sophomore releases

- Both bands play in a prog fashion

- Even more, the sound is so ‘cut from the same cloth’ that it’s borderline ridiculous.

What Tesseract is missing, though, is the focus and cohesion that Tetrafusion achieved with the release of their Horizons EP. I mean, the ideas are there and all the musicians know their stuff quite well, but the record just meanders around aimlessly to the point of it turning into background noise; it seems to be just another case of ‘we’re a prog band and we’re going to record an epic album’. It turned out decent enough, but decent doesn’t quite cut it when we’re talking about this type of music.

With that said, I’m waiting for them to release something like Horizons, a perfect example that ‘less is more’ is not just a saying, but an actual advice meant to be followed.

Meanwhile, here’s the free album stream; you’ll be the judge of it.

CHINA DOLL a.k.a. "How a band released just two songs in 1980 and managed to blow me away completely: The Review"

Well, way back in 1980, when the New Wave Of Brittish Heavy Metal movement was just starting to get big in the UK, fronted by bands such as Iron Maiden and Tygers Of Pan Tang, in some stinky gutter next to the penitenciary I imagine there was a 7" single lying in the dirt. No one had heard of it, no one ever will. Except for a bunch of people, over the past 30 years. I was lucky enough to be one of those people, people who have heard the pure greatness that is the CHINA DOLL "Oysters and Wine" single.

Two songs. TWO damn songs so amazing to me that they overcome about 80% of all the NWOBHM I have ever heard, and I've just about heard them all. I must've found this 10 minute masterpiece back in the autumn of 2012, when I was surfing the musical mothership that is the Cosmic Hearse blog, galloping through the NWOBHM section, downloading mediocre singles, all as unknown as this one. Finally, here is the review:

SIDE A: "Oysters and Wine"

The song pretty much begins with a simple and mellow riff that quickly bursts out into an awesome solo. Bass harmonies distinctively heard in the background, but then we have the vocals. Very good vocals. Very catchy lyrics, though a bit kitchy, you'll be humming them for quite some time. Amazing musical line, again, catchy as fuckkkkkkk. Solos everywhere, bass everywhere, it's just perfect.

SIDE B: "Past Tense"

Yeah, I know, lame title... so the B side starts off about 200% calmer, a ballad that begins with some sort of eerie chords and strange cowbell-like stuff in the background, and grows into a cool riff, with cool vocals, just as we'd come to expect by now. It's kinda like a trance for a couple of minutes, just sitting there and enjoying the shit out of the harmonies and the obvious bass in the background, then it all cools down, back to the intro bit, the freaky instruments, the slow chords. You are hit by hundreds of notes, just flying at you. It's a freaking solo, out of freaking nowhere. But boy is it cool, the kind that Acid Witch take and add ten fuzzy distorted effects and make it their own, and it works just as fine. The some more lyrics, then another solo. Then some more solo. Then it fades out.

Here you go.

Astronauts Really Fly - Astronauts Really Fly (2013)

Nope, this is not an artsy space rock album filled with trippy rhythms and cosmic journeys -  that’ll be Jonathan’s area of interest. Astronauts Really Fly is a kinda disco-friendly 4 track EP submitted by, you guessed it, Astronauts Really Fly.

So let’s cut to the chase and concentrate on the ‘’kinda-disco-friendly’’ aspect of the EP. I used the word ‘’kinda’’ because you can clearly see that it’s meant to be disco-friendly only from an instrumental standpoint. Lyrically speaking, it’s as depressing, gritty and blunt as it can get, and that contrast is what really drew me into it. There’s nothing like spitting rhymes about the ups and downs of life, painful break-ups, putting…  uhm, people into comas, overcoming depression and dark subjects in general on a friendly beat. Guys, if you ever decide to release a full album, can you make a song, in the same spirit, about the Nanking rape? I’m 97 % sure it won’t offend anyone if you use samples from My Little Pony. You know, radio-friendly. Just saying.

Anyway, ARF’S self- titled EP has been out for a while now, so make sure you check ‘em out on Facebook and Soundcloud. Now.

https://soundcloud.com/astronautsreallyfly/sets/ep

https://www.facebook.com/ASTRONAUTSREALLYFLY

Valfader - Whispers of Chaos (2013)

Following yesterday’s post about The Lone Crows, today’s featured album artwork is yet again dominated by a crow motif (or raven, I don't really know the difference), yet these guys opt to show the metal side of those big, bad, feathered birds.

Quoting their own words, Valfader are ‘three guys with valved amps, big drums and heavy riffs’, determined to pound their way into every metalhead’s skull, and then stay there and pound some more. Following a somewhat subdued intro (actually, forget subdued, it’s heavy as fuck) with the instrumental track Whispers of Chaos, it’s not until the second song that vocals are introduced and my god, do they fit well. I could have probably listened to the whole album only as an instrumental release, but it definitely wouldn’t have been the same. The somewhat ‘viking-ish’ touch these guys add to their vocal delivery makes every line sound like a war chant, and rightfully so: the third track, Death Meets Truth, takes the riffing to a whole new level and adds a blistering guitar solo to spice things up (not that the other tracks didn’t have any, I just liked this one more).

Closer track Sacred Spiral has a few mellow moments to it, but don’t be fooled: the riffs are there, bigger than ever, vox start showing some extreme influences and drums are louder than your mama’s fat ass when she starts falling down the stairs. I mean, the outro is made for pillaging villages, blasting open homes, raping women and killing children! With that said, there’s just one more thing I need to add this review, after I post their bandcamp page from where you can get this shiznit release:

http://valfader.bandcamp.com/

“Long live the true King of the North, Valfader! May the Gods deliver back my hair so I can headbang joyfully to whatever they decide to release next. Amen!”

The Lone Crows - The Lone Crows (2013)

These lonely souls (pun intended) set out to rock the world aloud, and boy do they have the chops!

Mixing stoner rock, blues, psychedelic, some hard rock elements, all blended in furiously endless jam sessions, this self-titled re-release of the band’s debut from last year has the honesty and passion of a garage recording, yet at the same time shows the omnipotence of a mature band that has been doing gigs for half a century.

You’ll find in this album nods to musical styles that span from the 60’s to the 90’s, you’ll find a jam session taken straight from the rehearsals in The Ghost (as they  didn’t know they were being recorded) and you’ll find a clear homage to Santana’s ‘Black Magic Woman’ in track number three, Heard You Call.

With nearly fifty minutes of instrumental and vocal prowess, The Lone Crows manage to stuff together in one piece the best bits of rock music in existence, and for that we can’t thank them enough. What we can do, however, is listen to them indefinitely and recommend them to everyone.

http://thelonecrows.bandcamp.com/album/the-lone-crows

Spread the word!

Relentless reveals new album 'Souls of Charon'

Newly formed Heavy/Doom Metal band RELENTLESS will release their debut album "Souls of Charon" via Do Or Die Records sometime in the following couple of weeks. Meanwhile, you better familiarize yourself with how they sound with a brand new promo video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=aWHYEnQLr90

Infectious, right?

And a complete tracklist:

1. Trapped Underground
2. Better off Dead
3. United By Darkness
4. Final Wishes
5. Forever Damned
6. Souls of Charon

I’m happy to say it sounds stupidly amazing and I cannot wait to indulge in the whole pie. For more info check their facebook page or the DoOrDieRecords page.

Rock on!

Enemy Noise - No Control, No Parade (2012)

My hardcore listening days are few and far between, but lately I've been cranking the volume up to 11 courtesy of this joyful bunch from Long Beach, aptly titled Enemy Noise. They got a crusty sound, angry guitars, three-packs-of-cigs-a-day vocals and basically they entice violence where violence is due.

Listen to their EP for free at http://enemynoise.bandcamp.com/ and may no windows be left intact in any of your puny mortal homes! 

P.S: The last chants of the fourth track went straight to my ears sounding something like "You can't escape the walrus!"

Djeeeeaaah!

Lostprophets - Start Something (2004)

Delving once more into the alterno/nu-metal/screamo/whatever bucket of obscure records I listen to almost on a daily basis (but wait, we’re talking about Lostprophets, so I guess they’re not that obscure after all!), I bring you this sophomore effort of this welsh band, meant for tearing up t-shirts, painting your dog pink, drinking expired milk and wearing your grandma's underpants while you’re running down the street screaming “We are Godzilla, you are Japaaaaaaan!!!”

Basically, this is a very energetic album with the obligatory ballad thrown in here and there and a very cool instrumental outro, but that’s just about it; yet somehow I feel compelled to recommend this to anyone, since it contains songs that remind me of the times when I was a kinder and all I did was sit around playing Need For Speed all day. 

So yeah, for those moments ‘Start Something’ packs a great punch, but if you’re looking for more complicated music, you might as well check out my death-by-doom reviews or whatever. In the meantime, I am Godzilla and you are Japaaaaaaaaan!!!

About ELECTRIC WIZARD

Well, I have descended to talk a little about heavy overlords Electric Wizard's popularity. They have stretched out riffs, some not quite good, some eerie vocals and occult themes.. kind of a deja vu when it comes to metal... But oh they are so awesome, not only for being the best at this shit, but for being the first to do this!

Don't get me wrong, I am an Electric Wizard fan and have been for quite some time, precisely, since I first listened to "Night Of The Shape" back in 2007 and was completely blown away, it was the creepiest shit I have ever heard. And yes, they might actually be the heaviest band I know, and that is something very admirable (No, I don't listen to Sunn O))), thank you very much ). But there's something that bothers me, Electric Wizard have a damn huge fanbase, tens of thousands of people know about EW only on facebook, and I'm cool with the fact that they are popular, but they're not THAT good, seriously. And the thing that bothers me is that most of their fans are silly stoners, that use them the same way we use Pornhub, because it pleasures us in that dirty, dirty way.

For example, "Dopethrone" and "Funerapolis" are EW's most popular songs, they're just an orgy of heavy riffs and whatnot, and both have over one milion views on Youtube, yet this band has waaaay better songs, that are more awesome riffs and creativeness, and less drone-doom-bass-420, but are leeeeesss popular. So it's pretty obvious which kind of fans are dominating here. Let's compare "Funeralopolis" to, say, "Come To The Sabbath" by Mercyful Fate, the latter one has almost as many views (give or take a couple of hundred thousand views, what) and is one of the best heavy metal songs in history, it has all sorts of cool shit, includin maestro King Diamond's amazing vocals, yet the Electric Wizard song is just there so that silly silly stoners can get their kicks... it's a damn shame.

Tl;Dr: No, it's not about the popularity and mainstream-ness, just about quantity of fans over quality of fans.